That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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