her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
