I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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