You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
