Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We have started to decorate penises.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
