He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
