Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
