Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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