it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
