Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
