before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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