Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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