I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
