I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
