Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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