didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
