if i died would you start the facebook group?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
