I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
