Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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