I only kidnapped one of them. chill
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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