I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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