That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
