Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
