He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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