I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
