I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
