she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
