all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
