physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
