i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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