Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
