Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
