I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
