i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
