Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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