i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
