Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
