Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
