When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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