meet me or not, i'm out of control
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
