I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
