he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
