she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
