i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
