Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
