Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
