if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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