Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
