I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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