Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You were trust falling into bushes
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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